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Bad days

I hit CTRL+W instead of CTRL+TAB and i closed the window where i was blogging. I was almost finished too. So here it is again.

It probably won't be as authentic as the one I lost but i try my best to upset the world. Yes, go ahead and call me a miserable, angry guy who does nothing but brings down everybody to his level of loathing and unhappiness but then i go ahead and tell you that i think there is something wrong with the world as is and i think if you agree that everything is dandy then there is something wrong with you too my friend.

For example, i can't breathe through my nose for 6 days now and i feel like i'm going to hurt somebody or break something very, very soon. The doctor didn't tell me about this. He didn't tell me shit. At the very least he should have told me how long my nose was going to be blocked but he didn't constult me, didn't give me advice, all he said that "the girls at the front desk will help you set up an appointment for next week".
There is a construction site across the street. They work here all day, even on Saturdays. They make lots of noise but there is one thing they don't make: progress. The day after my surgery a guy was scraping the surface of the concrete with a big crane trying to clean up the mess they made. It made me so mad I broke down. I felt helpless. Just as you can't kill an ant by stepping on it or you can't drive a nail into the wall using a jackhammer, 5 lbs of dirt cannot be picked up by a 40 ton crane. Use a broom or a shovel asshole! There are the same guys who called the city to give us parking tickets because they can't work from our cars parked on the street. Well, we don't have a parking spot assigned in the townhouse complex because that would be too much to ask for i guess. But i don't even want to go there now.

So i decided to buy a christmas tree this morning. I was already blamed for ruining the enviromnent and killing nature but i still want a christmas tree. I know, i'm wrong. I know I do a lot to fuck up nature. But I hope one day Mother Earth will forgive me for this and also for some other stuff I do like chopping down rainforests and dumping 3 billion cubic meters of crude oil into the oceans. But i don't care. I have money, i'm sheltered. I make lots of money and i spend lots of money. Mostly on stuff i don't need. And i put them in the basement. Mostly plastic. Just so i can leave a mark knowing that my plastic will stay here on Earth for the next 2 million years. In fact, i have so much junk in my basement i can't find anything anymore but i can't help it. I love shopping. I'm a happy member of a consumer society and i feel strong with millions of people like me backing me up. They are on tv too so what we do is right. I know it. I never worry. That's for Greenpeace. Freaks. But I tell you one thing. I know not a lot of people read this blog and I know that the one who do are not the ones this rage rant is addressed - you know who you are. In my poor home country Hungary my teacher had a christmas tree. (Yes, we have chrismast over there too). And my teacher was poor and she was happy. She taught biology to us. I can't remember most of what she taught us but i remember when she told us that the Earth has enough resources to easily feed 20 billion people but it can't feed 1 billion people's greed. She probably quoted it from somewhere but that's not the point. She had a real christmas tree.

Back to the christmas tree. Home Depot only sells huge ones. They can't seem to imagine that some people want to kill smaller trees too. Canadian Tire doesn't sell christmas trees. The store that sells soap, hot dogs, automotive equipment, clothing, kitchenware, shelves, etc doesn't sell christmas trees in december. They must be trying to save the world. I drove around and found trees for sale in a parking lot. It turned out that some cool farmers came down to Timbaktu to rip off people who live in Mississauga by selling $60 christmas tree. They are smart folks, they know how to make money. They drink a lot of beer and do lines of cocaine too. Respect brothers and up yours. I found more trees at Dominion. They were crooked and the nice one were gone but i didn't really want a nice tree anyways so I asked someone where i can pay and they told me that i can pay at the customer service desk. A woman there was returing about 60 pez dispensers, jelly beans and magic markers and they went through all that one by one on the receipt making sure she gets here 39 cents back for each item. She didn't look like she know what 39 cent means, she looked like someone with a $40.000 SUV and a hollow but mean looking head. There was only one agent at the store to help customers. I left. No christmas tree for me. I'm going to take the dog to the puppy park instead. She never does anything other than giving us love, lots of love, constantly all day and all night.

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Life Sentence,
No Parole